Everyone knows the one Aunt Elisabeth who smiles mischievously at the family celebration and asks you when you will (finally) be expecting. Sometimes it sounds very funny (to the others) when you've just come back from your honeymoon and are wearing a loose-fitting dress to conceal the remnants of the good hotel buffet. Sometimes, however, it sounds openly offensive if the tone of voice also suggests a specific expectation.
In my opinion, adults are responsible for the consequences of such questions. Even if the question is meant nicely, it is extremely unpleasant for those affected and leads to stress and other negative feelings. It is also far more personal than: “What are you having for dinner tonight” or similar.
So why should you be the recipient of a negative feeling and take it home with you and end up blaming yourself?
My approach here is aimed at cornering the person asking the question and, if possible, making them aware that the question has just crossed the line. With cleverly chosen answers, any further questions can be nipped in the bud. It is much fairer if the person asking the unsensitive question has a bad feeling afterwards and not you as the person affected.
So imagine Aunt Elizabeth asks: 'Sooo, when is it (finally) time for you?'
You can answer:
We'll communicate that when we think it's approproate.
2. Well, at Zalando it's also the case that it can sometimes take a little longer for an order to arrive.
3. Why exactly is this information relevant to you now?
4. The crystal ball hasn't told me that yet either.
5. You can't imagine how hard we're already working on it.
So you return the ball of this awkward question and expose your counterpart a little, but hey - that's perfectly okay if someone simply crosses boundaries.
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