Changing jobs to conceive?
In this blog post, I would like to give you a few tips on when a job change can be helpful for the desire to have children.
Fertility treatments are almost always very difficult to reconcile with a job, which is all the more important if you have a medically difficult starting position from the outset and have to assume that it may take longer.
Changing jobs to have children - isn't that a bit drastic?
No, it's not at all. We are often very comfortable and like to stay in an environment that is familiar to us and where we know what to expect. But the plan to have a baby will change our lives to such an extent that we can't even imagine it beforehand anyway. So why not rethink your professional situation? The job is an important part in our everyday lives and if it hinders us too much, this can also have a negative impact on our baby plans.
This article is not intended to tempt you to blindly hand in your notice today. But it is intended to give you some indications of when a job change could be beneficial for your fertility project.
I've put together a few reasons here that could speak in favor of a job change:
Your job is very remote and attending medical appointments etc. involves a lot of logistical effort.
You have rigid working hours and it is difficult to take time off at short notice.
You always have to enter your annual leave very early and are therefore inflexible, e.g. to be able to plan an IVF treatment.
You have a job where you cannot be absent at short notice, e.g. because you have to carry out a core task on your own.
Your company and superiors generally react negatively to absences: “Why is she sick again”, “We can't do without anyone”, “If someone is absent now, we're screwed”. You then feel responsible and prefer not to be absent. Remember: it's not your fault and it's not your responsibility if the company cannot function just because you're absent for medical reasons. Every employer has a duty to make provisions for absences. If they fail to do so, this is the employer's decision, whether for reasons of cost or incompetence. However, this cannot and must not stand in the way of your desire to have children!
Your work is generally a stress factor. Stress has not been proven to be a cause of infertility, but it is not ideal if you spend 8 out of 24 hours of your day stressed and your plan to have children has to take a back seat in case of doubt. Work is work, but your desire to have children should be your number one priority. That's why you should use your free time for nice things, not for having to recover from an overly stressful job.
Your job is not compatible with your partner's working hours. As you know, it takes two to create a child - even if this is done with medical assistance. So if cycles repeatedly cannot be used because you and your partner cannot see each other due to work, this is a negative factor that causes unnecessary hurdles.
The job is not compatible with a family. From the moment you decide to have a baby, you have to ask yourself how you will work with a child anyway. If the job is not suitable now, why not switch to a more compatible model right away?
There are many pregnant women at work. This can also be a stress factor that doesn't directly get in the way of getting pregnant, but it can make your time at work harder. Infertility already takes up a lot of space, but if you are constantly being painfully reminded of this, it is unnecessary. You may feel better in a more neutral environment.
Your life situation has been stuck for a long time. If it hasn't worked out for a long time, a change of scenery may be worthwhile. This should not be a guarantee of pregnancy, but rather that you can mentally take on a new challenge again. Familiarizing yourself with a new activity can interrupt negative thoughts for a while and give you new strength.
Financial benefits. If you are faced with high treatment costs and have not received a pay rise for the third time, you should think about changing jobs. Perhaps a pay rise or less work for the same salary would be a good change for you?
Work plays an important role in our everyday lives and therefore also influences our infertility challenges.
Be important enough to yourself to decide whether this work helps or hinders you in your heart's desire. Make a list of positive and negative points and at least look around to see what the alternatives could be. You can always apply for a position - you don't have to take the job in the end. But in my experience, thinking outside the box has always been worthwhile, even if you end up concluding that everything is perfect as it is.
Changing jobs can of course mean a certain delay in having children, but if the conditions are so much better in the end, it can be a realistic and worthwhile decision.
No employer in the world is worth sabotaging your desire to have children for.
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