The fear of the first drop of blood - 8 tips for dealing with the crucial day
Even without a pregnancy test, there comes a time when we know whether it has worked or not. Especially if you have already had several negative cycles, the fear of the day of the result often increases.
Realizing that it didn't work out again is not just the disappointment of not getting pregnant, which is bad in itself. Instead, you mourn a possible life that you could have had. Perhaps there would have been a baby next Christmas, or you had already thought of a name. In addition, you may have just had to pay €10,000 for in vitro fertilisation, you may have used up your annual holiday for it, you may have postponed your trip for nothing, or you may now know with certainty that a certain medical method did not lead to success.
So you are saying goodbye to much more than just the possibility of pregnancy. Therefore, this is a small and sometimes larger grieving process, which has its justified and most important phases.
Here I have put together a few tips on how you can get through these moments a little more easily:
do not plan any stressful and mentally challenging appointments on this day where you need to be in control of yourself
distraction appointments are okay
if you are testing: Set a fixed time for it so that it is over at some point, don't postpone it
allow yourself to grieve if the result is negative: Cry, scream, box, scream in the car, lock yourself in somewhere, cry in the shower - for as long as you need to
have something ready that you have bought/organised beforehand, e.g. a little encouragement such as a new book, item of clothing, etc.
take time for a period of mourning and reorientation, let go and close off
the day of the period is the 1st day of a new chance in a new cycle
record your feelings and improvements on the following days so that you can see that things are improving again next time.
Personal tip: It has always helped me to be alone in these moments or to withdraw shortly after the negative news. I had a playlist with rather fast songs especially for this situation so that I wasn't dragged down by sad songs. I often did a lot of sport, such as going for a long run, because it helped me to calm down. I always felt much better afterwards.
The biggest mistake we make in this situation is to continue to function as normal. A negative result is always hard news, sometimes a shock. The best way to come to terms with it is to accept this moment and deal with it until you can let it go. This can take a few days and that's perfectly fine. Only then can you really let it go and feel a sense of relief. After all, it's also the first day of a new month, a new chance.
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